So you found my site...
Well, first off, I am proud of you for doing a little digging.
I'm sorry to disappoint, but there isn't going to be a flashy website of my services, my accomplishments, my hobbies, etc.
I have so much work coming my way. Sometimes, too much work.
That's why I'm hard to hire. I'm only really looking to get involved in exciting projects.
So I'm going to make it a little difficult for you to find a way to contact me.
I figure that those that really try probably have something good.
Jane Doe
Journalist
This is an awesome testimonial about Luke that is written by Luke. I'm fun to work with and I like to have fun.
Luke
Consultant
I get about 50 requests every month. It's too much.
I would love to work with everyone but I literally can't. I don't want to manage 17 employees, teach them everything I know, then they steal my knowledge and try to sell my methods by undercutting me. Fuck that.
I'm only interested in exciting projects. Designing a website can sometimes be a decent gig, but usually I can't be bothered to build a website anymore. Clients always say they want a simple website and end up listing features that are not simple.
I now charge $3,500 minimum for a website. It's mainly done to dissuade the cheaper clients from wanting to work with me as they're usually the most difficult to please.
When it comes to marketing and advertising, you're more likely to get my attention. I like making my clients money. If you have a cool business with great margins, you're already one step closer to making me happy.
About Luke
I like people who are personable. I really don't like working with people that don't have a personality or a sense of humor. People who are constantly serious are constantly depressing.
If you haven't noticed, this hard to hire concept is me trying to weed out people who I have no intention of working with.
This section is not important
If you're scrolling trying to browse quickly, you might miss this section. I'm going to drop a small email section on here and you'll be able to tell me what you want to contact me about.
But I'm doing my best to hide it here. Honestly though, please don't contact me if you do not have any money. I hold free seminars for business owners because I like doing it in my area but I don't work for free. I do that because I'm just helping people in my community and networking, making new friends.
Let me reiterate. If you are looking for someone who will work for free, this is not it. If you need a website for $1,250 then this is not it. If you want to be on top of Google for $500 per month, this is not it. Okay, see you later.
martha Jones
Architect
Don't watch people on the box telling you nonsense. It's bad for your health.
Shawn parker
Developer
Sometimes it's fun to eat chocolate. And other times, it's fun to eat a lot of chocolate. It just depends how much I want to eat.
Jessica Sanders
Photographer
Look at my serious face. I am serious. Please do not joke around about my seriousness because I am seriously not in the mood.